You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
