Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
