Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
