Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize