oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
