i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
