He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
