Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
