Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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