We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
