Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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