he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How naked do you want me to be?
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