i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Swine flu is the new snow day.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
