you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
