She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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