I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
