I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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