I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
