did you get engaged???
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
