Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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(260): View more from Indiana

I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.

(260): View more from Indiana

Sorry- wrong number! :)

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(208): View more from Idaho

His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.

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(847): View more from Illinois

This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.

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(734): View more from Michigan

He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

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(817): View more from Texas

New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.

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(407): View more from Florida

So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?

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