he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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