I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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