Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
