I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
