sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
