Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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