oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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