So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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