the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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