Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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