Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I looked at my own cervix.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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