6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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