No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
