i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Farmville is her only friend.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
