i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
