Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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