Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pants are for mortals
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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