I wish i was in the wii world.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
