she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
do herpes really smell.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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