Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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