i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
