consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
did i walk over a car last night?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
