So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
