why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
