I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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