maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
