Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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