Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
