problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
