Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
