Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
