If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
