Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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