I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
