i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
