Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
