Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We left the knife in your bed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
