2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
