I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Best friends brother. Beat that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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